I mean full-on ugly cry, Joy Quest Mindset mascara everywhere, the kind where you have to keep wiping your nose on your sleeve because you used all the napkins already. That was me. Peak adulting.
And somewhere between sobs and yelling at my Spotify playlist for playing another sad-girl acoustic cover, I decided I was done waiting for life to “get better” before I allowed myself to feel okay. So I started this stupid little experiment I now call the joy quest mindset.
Not ✨manifest your dream life✨ joy. Not “just think positive!!” joy (which we all know is bullshit when your transmission is dying).
More like… angry scavenging for tiny good moments even when everything else sucks.
So what actually is it? (my half-baked definition)
Its deciding joy isn’t a reward you earn after you fix everything. Its more like pocket change you collect on purpose while the world is still on fire.
I got the idea partly from that Book of Joy thing with Desmond Tutu and Dalai Lama (which I only finished because I was too stubborn to DNF it), where they say joy can coexist with suffering. Like… you can be grieving AND still laugh at a dumb meme at 2am. Both can be true.
Mind blown. Or at least mildly cracked open.
My first attempts were honestly embarrassing
Tried gratitude journaling for like 9 days straight.
Day 1–3: normal stuff (bed, hot showers, tacos) Day 4: “the fact that my cat didn’t throw up on the rug today” Day 6: “didn’t get a parking ticket (yet)” Day 8: “still breathing I guess”
By day 10 I wrote “I hate this fucking notebook” and threw it under my couch. Haven’t seen it since. Probably for the best.
Then I switched to what I now call micro-joy looting (sounds cooler than it is)
Real examples from the last 4 months of my disaster life:
- the exact second my heated blanket reaches optimal toasty level
- hearing the neighbor kid yell “THIS IS SPARTAAAAA” while jumping off the porch
- finding a half-used gift card in an old purse with $4.37 left on it (free coffee glitch activated)
- when the streetlights make that wet-road rainbow effect after rain
- the little click my kettle makes when it’s finally done boiling
None of this is profound. None of it paid my electric bill. But they stacked. Quietly. Sneakily. Like compound interest but for not hating your life.
The part where I completely fell off (multiple times)
October was rough. Car needed $900 worth of work, boss was on one, my favorite hoodie got a mystery stain that looks suspiciously like nacho cheese, and I ghosted a very nice person because I got scared. Classic me.
During that stretch I said screw the joy quest. I wanted to feel sorry for myself. I wanted to hate everything. I felt entitled to it.
And you know what? The world didn’t end. I let myself marinate for like 2 weeks. Watched terrible reality tv. Ate cereal for dinner. Cried in the shower (very cinematic).
Then one random Tuesday I noticed how good the first sip of cold Dr Pepper felt and I was like… oh. Right. The quest doesn’t disappear just because I took a break.
I think that’s the real secret. It’s not about never stopping. It’s about remembering you can start again.
Okay but like… how do I actually do it tho
My current extremely half-assed system (January 2026 edition):
- Morning: name 1 thing I’m even slightly curious about today (even if its just “will the new girl at coffee shop remember my order”)
- Random time during day: 15-second pause — what feels okay right now? feet in fuzzy socks? sunbeam hitting my arm? the smell of someone else’s pizza?
- Night: scribble one micro-win before I doomscroll myself to sleep
That’s literally it. No apps. No cute planners. Sometimes I forget for 3 days straight. Sometimes I write “didn’t punch a wall” and call it progress.
Final messy thoughts from someone who’s still figuring it out
I don’t wake up smiling every day. Some mornings I still open my eyes and immediately think “why tf am I like this.”
But the joy quest mindset gave me permission to collect small good things even when I’m not “fixed.” And honestly? That feels more rebellious than any self-help guru’s 5am routine.
So yeah. That’s my take. Imperfect. Inconsistent. Occasionally ridiculous.
What’s one tiny stupid thing that gave you joy lately? Even if it’s just “the pop-tart didn’t burn this time.”